Trash Talk Fridays: Fire vs. New York Red Bulls

This will certainly not ignite an international incident. (image: thetimes.co.uk)

This will certainly not ignite an international incident (image: thetimes.co.uk)

While the bourgeosie had their holidays in Costa Rica, OTF’s Ricardo Ortiz went to North Korea for Spring Break to commune with his roots and prepare for this weekend’s war against the Red Bulls. Here’s his dossier…

It’s a well-known fact that Dear Leader Kim Jung-un is a huge basketball fan. What’s not so well-known though is the fine people of North Best Korea are intense followers of MLS and ardent Chicago Fire supporters. I’m told it explains their obsession with red.

So when Supreme Commander Kim Jung-un graciously invited me to his annual International Conference on Juche Ideology and the MLS (not coincidentally held during the Fire’s bye week), I happily goose-stepped at the opportunity. KCNA North Korea News was gracious enough to provide OTF with exclusive footage from the event:

***make sure captions are enabled for both videos. If not, when you hit play, click the little “cc” button at the bottom (first button on the right).***

Following the spellbinding meeting of global minds, distinguished cadres invited me to deliver the opening speech at the annual Democratic Workers Rally In Support of the Chicago Fire and Oppressed Peoples Everywhere. Here’s what I had to say:

I know, they’re a lively bunch aren’t they! And I bet you didn’t think I could speak Korean, did you? Well, as loyal readers of this fine column know, I’m full of surprises.

Anyway, all in all, my trip was time well spent. I lost a few pounds, exchanged ideas with like-minded folks, and was very appreciative of all the sinister hospitality and suspicious friendliness the North Koreas had to offer.

Thanks Uncle Kim!

(Okay, I said what you wanted me to. Can I go home now? Please?!)

OTF contributing writer Ricardo Ortiz is the unofficial philosopher and firebrand preacher of the Chicago Word. Follow him @RickHardTimes

3 thoughts on “Trash Talk Fridays: Fire vs. New York Red Bulls

  1. Pingback: Trash Talk Fridays: Fire at Real Salt Lake | On The Fire

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