Chicago Fire Power Rankings: MLS Round Four

Rank 'em! (image:

 Nobody knows you when you’re down and out. (image:

Each week OTF aggregates the power rankings to find out if perception is indeed reality… 



Round Four Aggregate = 18.8/19 ( – 0.2 from last week) (18)

“One goal isn’t enough to solve the widespread problems in Bridgeview right now. Maybe a weekend off will provide the solutions.”

But one goal’s good enough for y’all not to rank us last! Fire Nation thanks you kindly.

ESPN FC  (19)

“The good news: After failing to score in its first three games, the Fire got on the board thanks to Patrick Nyarko. The bad news: Just about everything else after a home loss to Chivas USA. Defender Arne Friedrich can’t return soon enough.”

Other good news: I got a $2 pop on Sunday, no ice!

Soccer America (19)

“Fire backup goalie Paolo Tornaghi – replacing U.S. callup Sean Johnson – could do little as the Fire was riddled by Chivas USA before and after Patrick Nyarko scored its goal.”

Riddle me this Soccer America: how many Italian goalkeepers does it take to stop an unrelenting Mexican strike force led by a bald, earring-wearing, fútbol mastermind-philosopher who doesn’t wear socks and smokes on the sideline, hmmm?

Bleacher Report (19)

“The Chicago Fire are cementing themselves in the basement of the Eastern Conference standings after their horrendous start to the season. The Fire fell flat in front of their home fans against Chivas USA on Sunday as they were blasted for four second-half goals.

The good news for the Fire? They actually scored a goal in the 65th minute by way of Patrick Nyarko to break their 334-minute goalless streak that they started the season with.”

Um, well, heh. Actually, they set the franchise record for consecutive goalless minutes at 410 before Nyarko scored. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone, okay?

Sports Illustrated (19)

“Well at least the Fire finally scored. This is hardly the start manager Frank Klopas envisioned when the club – a playoff contender in 2012 – made what seemed like roster improvements heading into 2013. Not having Arne Friedrich or Logan Pause to start the season has hurt, but they’re not at fault for the anemic attack.”

You’re right Avi Creditor. Personally, I blame Carlos de los Cobos. (19) 

“Shipping four second-half goals to a Chivas USA team that barely attacked in the first half? That’s got to be one of the most painful moments of Frank Klopas’s tenure as boss of the Fire. And now, for the second time in three years, Chicago have dug themselves a very deep early-season hole that they’ll have to spend the next several months climbing out of.”

Yeah, so what? We’ve got plenty of shovels in Chicago. Take that!


Who did we miss? If you know of other weekly MLS power rankings, send ’em our way and we’ll add ’em to the mix! 

*NOTE: NBC Sports Pro Soccer Talk & Soccer by Ives did not publish their respective power rankings in time for this post.


3 thoughts on “Chicago Fire Power Rankings: MLS Round Four

  1. 1) Bleacher report was only referring to a goalless streak this season, so they weren’t exactly wrong.
    2) Sports Illustrated clearly doesn’t understand soccer or the Chicago Fire because Arne is a vital part of our attack… just wait and see how much he sparks up the attack with his composer and charges down the center.
    3) Fuck, you may thank them, but I wanted to be last in all of the power rankings, that way when we win the Cup we can all sing “started from the bottom now we here! Started from the bottom now our whole team fucken here”.

    Here is the video for that week, You’re welcome:

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